But mates, what, you call him from the bathroom? “Jonathan? JONATHAN.” My question is, who is that trimmed baldness for, if the only person intended to see it is also the person responsible for monitoring the stubble and extracting the ingrown hairs? For the wearer alone? Sure, but what magical messaging must have been ingrained at 13 years old for 76% of people to feel uncomfortable unless their bum-hair’s been stripped away with a roar? What’s far more common, at 9%, is for them to get their partners to do it.Īgain, my face right now, a sort of Munchian scream, probably reveals me to be the kind of prudish matron that carries doilies with which to cover up seductive table legs. And it revealed that, rather than the thriving industry reality shows would have us believe, waxing salons cater only to a tiny proportion of pube-removers, with only 4% visiting professionals. If they prefer a pubis that could be mistaken for Stanley Tucci kneeling down to plug his phone in, then who am I to judge? Also, Bros are back! The revelation that stunned me was one hidden in the depths of the data, where few dared to dig. Most Americans get rid of their pubes – almost 67% of men and just over 85% of women. It’s hard not to look at a waiter walking gingerly and imagine the carnival of destruction behind his fliesĪnyway that’s not even one of the revelations. I will keep it in quotation marks so that I can have it all, the discomfort, the distance, and the semi-joke. And all the dandruff-like flakes of titillation that come with a headline that is genital-adjacent, and all that hair, drifting down toilets to clothe a fatberg, all that hair, matting itself into a jolly throw, for a winter in the sewer.

Why did I write that? It must have been to distance myself from the subject which, even in 2017, makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, the idea of all these people spending all this time removing all this hair. “So to speak.” I’m sorry for the “so to speak”, which is something one says instead of a winky emoji, isn’t it? Or in case the person you’re talking to might have missed your half-joke about the lawn. Perhaps you too keep a pube-free home, and pride yourself on a paved front lawn, so to speak. Evict it, extract it, uproot it, remove it. Perhaps it’s no surprise to you that 76% of people get rid of their pubic hair. T he revelations in a new American report on pubic grooming just keep on coming.

Girl shave video